Friday, June 29, 2012

I feel like I'm loosing it. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

This cleansing diet is supposed to be good for me. I NEED to do it, to test for food allergies. And I understand how it should be better for me.

But why don't I feel better? I guess I kind of do, but what little better I'm feeling, I'm overwhelmed with the stress from the dietary changes, withdrawals, and general hunger.

I have to admit I am also getting downright angry.

I am sick of going into a grocery store, and not finding anything I can really eat. I have freggies, chicken, etc. But I need snack items. I am starving, for lack of snacks.

It seems every single commercially prepared "snack" item has dairy, sugar, eggs, wheat, or some other dietary item I can not have.

I'm getting sick of hearing from others how "easy" this should be. How "good for me" this is. You know what? You try it. You try to find a way to feed yourself with these kind of dietary restrictions. Seriously. Try and not be hungry all the time.

Yes, I can eat almost any vegetable, and most fruit. Have you ever tried to have those as the staples of your diet? Let me tell you, you are often just plain hungry. And no matter how much you like a certain fruit or vegetable, you can quickly get sick of it. Very VERY quickly.

And the next person who tells me when I am out and about that "we have salads". I'll hurt them.

Wow. If only I could really do that. I do have a boxing bag in the garage. Maybe it's time to learn how to do that. But I can't see myself having enough energy to actually do it.

I have spent the last two days debating going off my cleansing diet. I need to be on it for a full 3 weeks before I can test for food allergies. But before I test for food allergies, I have some cleansing I need to do. My naturopath is sending me some regiments for bacterial clean-up in my gut. The first will take 2 weeks. The second 4-6weeks. Once those are done, I'll be ready to test for food allergies.

So that's 2 more months before I can test anyway.

I have cheated a bit - I had some cheese in stuffed mushrooms - 3 in total over 2 days earlier this week.

Maybe it's time to consider expanding what I'm eating. At least for the next month. Then I can get back onto the full strict cleansing diet for the last month, and be ready to start to test for food allergies when all is done.

I just don't know. In an ideal world, I'd figure out how to make this work. Take full advantage of the weight loss that is going to accompany this dietary change. And yes, it will. I am running again. I need to do it to keep myself from loosing my mind. I'm falling into a depression again as well, so I NEED to run.

So why can't I make it an ideal world? It's my choice right? I just need to figure out what to do. What can I snack on that doesn't break the nutritional rules? I am already making my own tomato sauces, BBQ sauces, non-dairy ice creams without added sugar. I'm sure I can figure this out.

But then why is it so hard???

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