Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Small Stone of the Week - Aug 26 to Sept 1

This week, I want to:

emoticon Complete W1HM - week 1 of the Half marathon training program
emoticon Get back on the cleansing diet - 100% clean by the end of the week
emoticon Drink 10glasses of water a day.
emoticon Take my Probiotics and B-12 Every day

Monday, August 27, 2012

Where I am now, and where I want to be in 14 weeks

14 weeks because that's when the Las Vegas Half Marathon is.

emoticon 226 or so lbs.
emoticon XL, 33, 14 clothing sizes
emoticon Can't run a full 15 minutes without a break
emoticon Still having stomach pains

As far as I'm concerned, the clock is ticking on these.

I want to be:
emoticon Able to run - I want to finish the half marathon in about 3 hours. That doesn't mean run the whole time. It means much more endurance. If I can run/jog for a full 90min, I will be happy.

emoticon I would love to be closer to Onederland again. I am not going to focus on this though. It is more of a side effect of the running.

emoticon Food wise, I need to figure out all that I need to deal with nutritionally. I know I need to be gluten free. I've also discovered sugar is not good for me - I have horrible reactions to sugar. Pork is also on my no list. I want to find out what else I should avoid, or at least limit in my diet. That means getting back on the cleansing diet 100% so I can follow through with the testing.

emoticon There is no dollar sign emoticon, so I'll use a star. I am starting on a journey to build my retirement savings. I want to see some progress there. I also will want to have some $$ to spend in Vegas.

emoticon I know, it's more part of my nutrition, but I need to get back up to my full hydration/electrolyte balance for training

So, now I've clearly defined where I am, and where I want to be. Unfortunately, there is a time line on this too. Luckily, I have a 12 week half marathon training program. I also will need to get much more strict with my nutrition/hydration, but I'm sure I can do it.

Now it's time to lay out the steps to get from here to there.

...but right now I'm so scared of it all.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed today. A couple of reasons why.

The first is actually more likely a symptom of being so overwhelmed. I'm not 100% sure what's caused it, but it could be a little bit of everything. I'm home sick from work today. In pain. It's taken me 2 days to figure out why, but I think I'm starting to get an idea why I'm in so much pain. I may have eaten something that could have triggered this as well. The tough part is I haven't been tracking what I eat, so I can't figure out what it was. I've been wracking my brain all day. Still no ideas.

The other part all ties into the fact I haven't been tracking. I signed up for the half marathon in Las Vegas in December. My son and I will be running it. I think I'm worried about it. I know I have 3 months to train for it. It's not my first half. But it is my first race since the marathon in San Francisco. I really hurt myself that time.

I guess I have to admit it. I'm afraid I won't be ready. I've been trying to loose weight for months and months again. Years in fact. I seem to get so far, then give up on myself, or take a break, or whatever you want to call it. The results are all the same. I'm getting no where.

What if I'm not able to do this? Wow, just saying that has made my stomach hurt so much more.

I know what I need to do. I have the 3 month training program. I know what I need to do. I've done it before.

So why is it scaring me so much?

The first week has a 30min run, then a 40min run. I hate to admit it, but I'm terrified of that. For the last month, I can't even seem to run more than 13minutes without a break.

I know what I need to do. I need to clearly lay out a plan. Now I won't give up on me, because I can't. I can't put it off until tomorrow, because there is a clock, and it's going to run out with or without me.

I'm also worried about what effect this will all have on Lee and I. He's such a wonderful man, but I get so tired and have no motivation for anything when I start to push my body so hard. That includes sex. It's almost like all my energy goes into basic survival and pushing myself to do what I need to do. I know that eventually changes - it takes about a week or so. Faster when I start to see progress and am feeling good about what I'm doing. But until then...

I know once I get started, I can do this...

...but right now I'm so scared of it all.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

August 14 BodyMedia

I exceeded my calorie burn, which is kind of surprising.  It was a rough day.  I spent most of the day in pain.  Lots of pain - TOM is kicking my butt.  This is getting ridiculous.  I should go see a doctor.

Anyhow, I still had a descent calorie deficit. 

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

August 13 BodyMedia

Not bad.  I exceeded all of my ranges - except sleep.  Even the calorie I ate, but I still kept a deficit of over 1000 calories. 

Not a bad day at all.  I'm happy with it.

Monday, August 13, 2012

I actually had a great day, even though I was not very successful with my run.  I burned lots of calories.  I did run.  I had an incredible calorie deficit.  I got in all my activity.  And I almost got in 8000 steps.  Not bad at all.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

A new Day, A new Start

What happened last week, or the week before is gone. Good or bad, it doesn't matter anymore. It's done. I can not be undone, or even re-done. All I can do is move forward from here.

If it was bad, I have less energy, motivation, or desire to get out there and do what needs to be done.

If it was good, my body is starting to adjust to it, and I need to push even harder to have another good week.

Either way, I have hard work ahead of me

The hardest pound to loose is the next pound.

I'm not going to give up on me. I'm worth more than that. I deserve more.

This calendar is far too sparce. Why it is doesn't really matter now. All I can do is change from today forward.

You want to get closer to this? What makes you think all those excuses over the past two weeks will get you ANYWHERE near this? Seriously.

I get sometimes things come up. Yes, I'm struggling with allergies and my breathing. That doesn't excuse it. It means I will get more of a workout in the same amount of time. I should still be pushing. Okay, so I can't go as fast, or as far. Right now what matters is getting my HR up and burning calories right? SO JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!!!

You know this magic equation.

You know you want to get closer to this goal on the one side of the equation. That is a definite.

Fitness? Okay, it's been lacking. I need to focus on that for sure. I know I'm not going to do as well as I was doing 2 weeks ago. I've slid backwards. My breathing is causing some issues for me right now. But I can fight though this. I only need to do better than I did yesterday. So far today, I have.

Nutrition? I am struggling with the cleansing diet the doctor has put me on. It's so severely restrictive. But I need to focus on what I need to do and just do it. It's a short term discomfort for a long term benefit. That's all there is too it. Period.

It's what I need to do to take care of me right now. It's how I can put me first for a change.

Forget the last week. Forget the struggles yesterday even. Today is the day.

Today, I have:
- done much better with my fitness than yesterday.
- eaten clean on the cleansing diet so far.

I still have to focus on my nutrition for the rest of today. I also have to drink lots of water.

My goal for today is:
emoticon Get more fitness than yesterday. emoticon
emoticon Stick to my Cleansing diet 100%. On track
emoticon Drink 8+ glasses of water. On track.

So far so good. Motivation is up too. I KNOW I can do this today

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Aug 10 BodyMedia

Not too bad.  I didn't get a good run in, but I almost met my activity.  I met my calories burned.  And did not too bad sticking to my calories in.  Overall not a bad day at all

Friday, August 10, 2012


I've been struggling to get back on track.  I've barely ran for the last two weeks.  I'm so frustrated with it. 

But am I able to jump up and get out there and fix it?  Not so much.  I'm back to being lethargic. 

Oh wow.  I think I just figured out a few things.  I've been off my B12 for over a week, and I'm feeling down and lethargic.  Guess I need to get back on it asap. 

I also need to get back on my cleansing diet.  Really focus on doing what's right for me. 

I did go running today.  I didn't run far, but I went.  Now to keep what's been started rolling. 

Guess it's time for me to buckle down again.  All I know for sure is I won't be giving up on myself anytime soon.  I deserve better.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Back on the cleansing diet. I started yesterday, but had supper that didn't fit, so I guess today is day 1 again.

Sitting here. Just finished my lunch. I'm craving sugar like u wouldn't believe. Grrrrr. Hope this passes soon.

August 7 BodyMedia

Finally getting back into a normal routine.  I was away for the long weekend.  Now time to get back on track. 

I need to weigh in tomorrow.  I'm so not looking forward to that.  But even though I didn't get much fitness in on the time away, I did not so bad with the eating.  I'm sure I did worse when traveling, but overall I was trying to keep an eye on it.

Started a new job yesterday too.  I'm hoping to get back to running tomorrow morning.

I've still been kind of active - canning lots and lots of fruit.  I have at least two more evenings of canning ahead of me, then I can take a bit of a break.  The rest of the fruit is frozen, so they can wait.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Today's Kick in the Butt

I am sitting here struggling to get up again. I know. What else is new.

The olympic mens gymnastics don't start for a couple of hours, so now's the best time to get out there and get 'er done.

The next few days will be difficult for me to get my fitness in - road trip and I'm the one driving. I NEED to make today count. Heck, I need to make every bit of time I have available to me count. It's just the way it is.

You want this? Then prove it.

Yes, the journey to get there is hard. If it weren't everyone would do it. That's reality.

Are you strong enough to do it? No doubt about it.

So what's holding you back today? If this is truly one of your passions, and a priority for you, then prove it. Prove it to anyone who can see your actions. Prove it to you.

You KNOW this. You will always be wishing you had done what you needed to in order to reach your goal. It isn't just going to go away because you are having a bad day. All that goes away is your motivation to actually get up and do what you need to do. Period.

No matter what you do for the next hour, the time will pass you by. That's reality. Are you going to make the most of the time? Finish the hour feeling accomplished? Or are you going to sit here on the couch, and in an hour start this whole process over again? That is the reality. The feeling that I need to get out there and push myself won't go away. It'll just keep weighing heavily on me until I do.

The scale dipped down to almost 223lbs the other day. It's back up a little now - no moving much, and eating too much of everything including salts, no wonder. I can change all of this. I can get that scale to not only hit 223 again. I can get it to go below that. So far below it that I won't see 223 again.

I don't see 236, 239, 240+ anymore. This IS working. I AM GETTING THERE. But now is not the time to quit.

Yes, my progress has been slow. Doesn't matter. It's still been progress.

You can make that scale get below the 220's. You are not that far away. Yes, right now it's hovering around 226. No biggie. You've gotten it to dip to 223. If you push it, you can get back there soon. Within a week I'm hoping. Then 2 more weeks of pushing and you could possibly see the 220's go away for good.

The only way you're going to get there?

Yes. The magic equation. Again. It's the only way. It's the road map to where I want to be.

Nutrition. I can focus on this while sitting here. Meal planning. Finding recipes. And cooking in the kitchen. I need to put more work into this also, but for me, that's the easier part.

Fitness. That's the part of the equation I'm struggling with right now. To get up off the couch and get out there and do it.

Those are the two parts that will get me to where I want to be. They are the only way. There is no other path.

Time for me to get up off my butt and get out there. The run is only 30minutes long. Add warm up and cool down, it's about 40 minutes. Fresh air. Sunshine. Well, not so much sunshine today. It's a little overcast. Nice too. No heat.

Just get out there and do what you need to do. You can spend the rest of the day knowing you did what you needed to do.

I'm back from todays run.  I only made it half way, but it's better than I've done in days.  I KNOW I can finish tomorrow.

July 31 BodyMedia

I was able to get out for a walk yesterday, but that was it.  Between that, and having GF pizzas - yes, plural - I went over my calories. 

I need to snap out of this funk.  I am leaving for a road trip tomorrow.  Off to BC for a drive through the Okanagan Valley, with stops in Calgary.  My mom and my daughter are coming with.  It'll be a nice trip.  Then we'll be back just in time for work on Tuesday morning. 

So I need to get my fitness in today.  Tomorrow will be hard.