Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Today's Kick in the Butt - Struggling

I am sitting here on the couch. Melting into it actually. I just woke up about half an hour ago. I'm struggling to just get up off the couch and MOVE.

I should
- fill up my water bottle
- take my rensa
- grab a banana
- avoid the coffee pot

Simple right? Then why can't I do it???

I let this "oh who cares. It really doesn't matter" attitude take over yesterday. I just rested. This darn cold I've been fighting...

I know. It's an excuse. I should know better.

Yesterday ended in me over eating at supper time, bloating, and being gassy all night. Also generally not feeling good about myself. I'm tired of those feelings.

I ended up spending all day thinking I should get out there and do something. I should move. I should eat. I should drink water.

Funny how just simply stating all of this got me moving. I've pretty much done everything on my "should do" list from earlier.

So now I've had some breakfast. I've started my Visi regiment for today. I'm started on my water. And so far I've avoided the coffee pot. I'm off to a good start.

I need to be at work about 11:45 this morning. I only have a 90min break before I have my evening shift. If


The best time for me to go running is this morning. I just don't know if I can get up and get moving. I have less than no motivation right now.

Compromise. I'll rest now, but go at 9am. That gives me some more time to get in more water and wake up. I have a time I'm going running. And I'll have time to get cleaned up for work without rushing.

It's days like today that show me what I'm made of. That show me just how strong I can be. These are the days where weight loss happens. When you push through the lack of motivation - the overwhelming desire to just melt into the couch and do nothing.

No motivation? Babysteps

Get Dressed
Get Shoes On
Go Outside
Just go running for 10minutes. If you can't continue, stop. But if you can...
Finish your training run for the day.
Cool down on the walk home.
Enjoy the endorphins
No more stressing about having to get out and do something.

The hardest part is starting

I'm back. I didn't finish my run, but I did go. I got it half way done before I couldn't breathe anymore. Too many people out cutting their lawns today. lol. Anyhow, I got out there. Now to get cleaned up for work. 

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Today is DAY 3

I spent most of yesterday frustrated. I couldn't seem to get my self together and get out for my run. I ended up not going, and didn't even want to check my bodymedia results.

So this morning I plugged it in and checked. Turns out my gardening activities were more vigorous than I though. I not only got 80 minutes of activity, I also got 12 minutes of vigorous activity.

So by chance, it turns out I got in my activity in yesterday.

This morning, I'm still sitting here in my fog. I tend to wake up in a fog sometimes. Today is one of those days. I guess the overcast skies outside are not helping.

Not getting my activity/supplements in just makes me feel like a failure. It's simple really. A minute out of my day a few times for supplement and it helps with energy/strength/appetite. 30minutes out of my day for my activity. It really isn't that much at all, but the benefits are so worth it.

emoticon progressing in my training
emoticon Heart rate dropping
emoticon Legs and lungs both getting stronger
emoticon Endorphins. Can't forget the endorphins after a good hard workout
emoticon Knowing I've EARNED it
emoticon Knowing I've done all I can to reach my goals
emoticon Being able to eat a little more to help keep my energy up.

However, when I don't do what I need to do

emoticon Guilty feelings about not following through for myself
emoticon Falling behind in my training
emoticon Worry that I won't be ready for race day
emoticon Getting weaker
emoticon No progress on my weight loss
emoticon Constant internal nagging. I really hate this one

I don't get how I can even consider not getting what needs to be done done. The regret of not doing it far outweighs the effort to just get it done. Seriously.

I realize one thing again. Loosing weight is hard. It's no cake walk. If it was, there would be no overweight/obese people out there. It's the hardest thing I'll ever do.

So why do I keep thinking it'll be easy emoticon
I honestly have no idea. All I know is this 'belief" is keeping me stuck. I've got to change it. Realize just how hard I actually have to work. Realize my body is adjusting to my running. It won't be enough to loose weight this time. I need to do it - I'm signed up for a race this fall. Until the race day has past, as long as I'm pushing myself on my running - meeting my training challenges - I will let it count as my activity. When I can, I'll push beyond it. If I can't, I'll forgive myself. I don't believe in no pain no gain.

Time for me to get my butt up off the couch. I have supplements to take. And a run to get ready for.

Hope you all have a great day.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Today is DAY 1

I almost bailed on today. I couldn't figure out why, but I was so tired all day long.

Finally at 3pm I decided enough was enough. I got dressed. If nothing else, I was going to take Lulu for a walk. Well, we ended up running Week4Day3 of C25k - run9min, walk1min, repeat for 30min. Just under 3miles.

So today was a good day. I am well below my calories for today. Time for me to get some supper and some rest.

Starting Again

I didn't say starting over again, mainly because I'm not starting over. I'm in a different place than I was then. I haven't lost everything I've done up until now. I just have gone off track long enough to need to reset my clock.

I finished my 5DayNewYou program, with great numbers. I was happy with both the weight and inches lost. But over then next couple of days I wasn't feeling well. I've been fighting a cold for a long while now - coming up to three weeks and I've still got some of the cough. It's not bad enough to go to the doctor. I'm not even sick anymore with it - generally. I just cough at times. Then once a week I feel really bad - raw scratchy throat, congestion. I take a day or so to rest, and then I'm back to just coughing on and off. I'm thinking it's partly my asthma that is keeping this holding on for so long. It's a bad time of year for me with asthma and allergies. That's really why I hate catching colds. It takes me so long to completely get rid of them.

Anyhow, I realized yesterday I've had too much down time.

I'm only cheating me when I don't get out and move. I have no problem tracking what I eat - regardless of whether I move or not I need to know what I've eaten. It often shows me why I'm not feeling good, or why I can't run when I try.

So today is a fresh start. I also re-started my Visi Regiment. I'm going to track my progress on that also. I set my prescription reminder on my iPhone so alarms will go off when it's time to take my supplements. That should help me remember to take the supplements on time. I found that was one of my major issues. I'd forget my afternoon/evening supplements. No excuses now.

So I'm getting back on track. I weighed in this morning. Even with a week off, I only re-gained about a pound and a half. Not too bad, considering the peanut butter chocolate banana cream pie. lol

What challenges have kept you from reaching your goals this past week? Are they challenges? Or just excuses you are using? What are you going to do to overcome these? What are you waiting for?

Monday, May 20, 2013

Today is DAY 10

I've been in a lot of pain since bedtime last night.  I actually was hoping I'd wake up feeling better, but no.

My abdomen is in so much pain.  I have no idea what set it off today.  It hurts too much to stand up. 

However, it doesn't matter what set it off.  All that matters is it is. 

So today is a rest day - not by choice. 

I need to watch what I'm eating today.  I tend to fix tummy aches by feeding them. 

Time to:
- drink all my water
- eat healthy
- relax. 

That's it.  Sums it all up right there. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Today is DAY 9

Wow. Day 8 didn't go too well. I wasn't feeling good all day long. Tired. Dizzy. Just not good. I ended up eating too much. Apparently when I feel like that, I try to treat it with food. It doesn't work. I still felt crappy all day.

Anyhow, I tracked everything from yesterday. Time to learn from it and move on.

Today is DAY 9.

I'm struggling with motivation to move today. It's overcast outside.

I know. Step one to overcome this is to just get dressed in my workout clothes. It will help. Then turn on my MP3 player. Finally just get out there and do it.

The sooner I do it, the sooner it's finished and I can relax for the day.

Oh yeah. I'm starting my next 5DayNewYou program.
I need to take my Rensa and some water right away. Might as well add a banana to that. Then I've got at least a half an hour to wait before I go running.

I just checked the weather network channel. Looks like there's a 70% chance of rain before 2pm, and 90% chance after. Guess I should tie on my shoes and go before the rain comes. It's supposed to rain both today and tomorrow too.

I'm tired of paying $50/month for a gym membership here. The gym is often over crowded - it's a small place and they have too many members for its size. I am thinking of just getting a few more free weights/a barbell, etc for myself at home to use. There are some pieces of equipment I will miss - the row machine, the lat pulldown, etc. But I figure I can do pretty good without the crowds or the excessive costs. I have quite a collection of workout and dance dvd's. I also have a bench that does flat and decline, a kickboxing bag, and a stability ball. I'm pretty sure I could set myself up with a pretty descent workout space with these.

Anyhow, back to today. I've had my Rensa, water, and banana. Time to go get dressed soon. Today I'll be running W4D1 of my C25K program. Run8min, walk1min and repeat for half an hour.

Time for me to get out there and chase my dreams.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Today is DAY 7

I didn't do very well yesterday. I was WAY too low on calories in. I also ended up low on calories out, but in this case, it was a good thing.

With SP being down yesterday, I didn't get a chance to track my foods. I figured I'd be a little low, but not as low as I was.

So the plan for today is to eat more. I want a MAX of a 1.000 calorie deficit. I want to eat at least 1.500 calories. Shouldn't be too hard - looks like it's a road trip day. Hubby wants to go to Regina.

So my fitness is likely to be down today - at least 4 hours traveling - more likely 6 actually. It's supposed to rain today too.

My focus today is on nutrition. Eating enough. Eating fuel not padding.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Today is DAY 6

I was surprised to see a 1613 calorie deficit yesterday. However, I'm noticing how tired I am again today. I didn't get in an fitness yesterday - beyond shopping that is - so it's not that. I didn't sleep well last night - got just over 6 1/2 hours. It could be that.

But I'm also wondering something else. I'm wondering if it has to do with having a calorie deficit over 1500. I've noticed how tired I feel the next day. Hmmm. Something to think about, that's for sure.

Anyhow, I don't think I'll be able to get my run in before work this morning. I'm just dragging too much to be able to get it all in. So I'll have to work on that for tonight.

I am doing my fifth day of my 5 day to new you program. This morning I weighed in at 230.8. That itself is awesome for my 5 days - down 5lbs. Now to decide if I'm going to keep going on this program. Personally, I'm thinking ... YES!!!!

Today I've got a full day. Training all morning. Then working this afternoon - that includes 2 hours of driving. I'm thinking a salad for lunch, maybe subway. I've got some fresh fruit around the house. I just have to be sure to pack enough healthy stuff to get me through my day on the go.

Today I really need to keep focused and get some fitness in before I go to bed tonight. I LOVE the calorie deficit's I've been having, but I want more. I deserve more.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Today is DAY 5

I didn't get my fitness in today. Been crazy busy all day long. It happens. The reason I'm not counting this as a failure, and re-starting my program is because of my calorie deficit - it's still going to be right close to 1,000.

I took a road trip today. Drove to Minot and went shopping. I picked up some dresses, skirts, shirts, a couple pairs of shoes. Then it was off to work this evening. It's after 8pm and I'm finally getting home, and into my PJ's and relaxing.

On the road trip, I missed doing my day 5 of my 5 Day to New You program. I will do it tomorrow.

I do feel much better. The rest I took yesterday was necessary, and my body benefited from it greatly. I'm ready to tackle this program again.

Tomorrow I'm working all day. At the office by 8:30 for paperwork and training. Then I have a visit at 2pm. That should take me right up to 6:30/7pm. I will plan to take lulu running either before, or right after work tomorrow. I'm thinking before is the best. That way it's done bright and early.

What are your plans to stay on track tomorrow?

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Today is DAY 4


I really pushed myself yesterday. I had an almost 2.000 calorie deficit. I knew it was coming. I spent two hours last night seriously considering this. I was open to eating more, but it had to be
1. healthy
2. something that I would feel better after eating (nutritious), rather than sick (junk food)
3. I had to be hungry for it

I debated some more of my chocolate silk. It's my treat after a workout. I already had some. And the "dairy" is not so good in the evening. It makes the phlegm so much worse and I end up coughing all night. So NO.

I debated some of the GF chocolate chip cookies I have, but they violated the first two rules above. Plus I didn't really want them. So NO

I debated some frozen yogurt and berries, but again, it kind of violated the second rule. I also already had some, so NO

I settled on a cup of herbal tea. It helped me clear my lungs - they were starting to be a little congested after I got home in the evening. The tea was also good for helping me relax for bedtime.

So in the end, I didn't eat anything. I debated it, but in all honesty, there was nothing I wanted.

However, this morning I'm paying for it. I'm completely drained.

No fitness for me today. I need to recouperate from yesterday. I've EARNED this day off. And I'm going to enjoy it.

Today is a home day. Good thing. It looks like there's a possible storm coming today. Those clouds look UGLY! So I'll tackle some laundry. Make a nice supper for my hubby. Maybe even tackle some housework if I'm up for it. Definitely no running. Not even going to walk the dog. I was considering it, but no. She needs rest too.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Today is DAY 3

I also started my Visi 5 Day New You program at the same time. I am now down 3.5lbs. I've lost 1" off my chest and another 1" off my waist. I am drinking 12-18 glasses of water a day, so it's not dehydration. I never expected results like this. I can't wait to see the full 5 day results in a couple of days. I think I just might do another 5 day stretch right away.

Anyhow, as for the rest of my "stuff". Yesterday I went for a run. I was able to finish C25K W3D3. FINALLY. I've been stuck on week 3 for a long LONG time now. I ran out a little farther, so I had an extra 10 minutes to walk home. It was nice. I was able to enjoy the walk home, and not work right up until it was time to walk into the house.

So today the plan is to tackle W4D1. I can't remember what it is. Maybe run 7 or 8 min and walk 1. Repeat for a full 30min.

I'm still sick with this pesky cold, but I'm not feeling too bad. My lungs are heavy sometimes. Running helps me clear them out. But the dust in the air is hard to deal with. I've got plenty of energy - from my Visi.

So the plan is to keep going. Try to run my program today. Have some hot tea when I get home. The hot beverage helps my lungs too.

So the plan for today:
I've got my breakfast with me now to eat.
Go running
After run - banana, chocolate silk, greek yogurt. It'll be lunch time too
Then off to get my tire fixed.

I'm planning on making the Jalapeno popper stuffed chicken recipe that came out in a sparkpeople email a few days ago for supper tonight. I'll make it gluten free, but it sounds so yummy. I can't wait to try it.

I should try to get some laundry and/or housework done today too.

I've got a busy day ahead of me. Time for me to go and give it my all.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Today is DAY 2

I'm STILL fighting this cold. It's a bad one. It's been two weeks since I started to feel "not right". A full week since I knew it was a cold. It is getting better, but it's taking a very VERY long time. I still wake up feeling awful. But luckily the worst is in the morning. Once I can clear my sinuses/throat, it's better.

I bit the bullet today and went for a run. I didn't think it'd go all that well, but I had to try.

The wind blowing in my face really dried out my throat/sinuses. But I pushed through. When I turned around, the breeze was all but gone. It was harder to run without the breeze helping to keep me cool.

I made it. I finished my week3 of C25K program today. It was tough, but I did it.

I definitely did this today.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Today is DAY 1 - Starting Over

I'm still pretty sick with this cold, but I'm determined to do what I can to make today count. I don't think it's a good idea for me to run, but I think I'm going to walk. I need to reach my 1,000 calorie deficit. I'm well on my way to doing just that without fitness, but I don't want today to be my day off already. I only get one in every 7 days, so I don't want it to be day 1. Then it feels like I'm playing catch up all week long.

I started my 5Day Visi challenge too. I need to take my before pics later today. I got all my measurements already. I can't wait to see what 5 days on this program can do for me.

So that's my plan today. To track every bite I eat and make sure I'm as low on my calorie range as possible today - without starving myself of course. Also to get out and walk. Burn some calories to I can reach the deficit I need to, while not taking today as a fitness break day.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Starting over again tomorrow

I'm not mad. I'm actually more determined than ever right now.

I started a 12 week challenge. Today was supposed to be Day 16. But yesterday I started thinking. I've had to take too many days off. The first week, two days were off injured. I still let those go. I watched my nutrition and listened to my body. So I counted them as days working towards my goal.

This week I caught a wicked cold. It's still kicking my butt. But yesterday was my second day this week off. Today was day 3 that I was going to miss my fitness.

That's what did me in. I had to face that my illness/injuries was keeping me from actually working towards my goal.

I've also decided I need to clarify my definition of a successful day as well.

A successful day will include:
- sticking to my nutrition/calorie balance. I will continue to track every bite I eat. I need to stay within my ranges on SP. My calorie ranges are 1450-1800. I will allow an overage IF and only if I am OVER a 1,000 calorie deficit.

- a 850 calorie deficit. This is the MINIMUM deficit that I will accept as a successful day. If I am over and above the 1.000 calorie deficit, I will accept eating over my 1800 calories. For every 100 calorie deficit, I will be okay with 50 extra calories in my nutrition tracker. That means I can eat 50% of any calories OVER 1000 that I burn. I don't have to. I'll just allow the extra if I need to eat more to support my activity.

- one day a week is my fitness break day. ONLY one in seven. I MUST have one day off every week. No fitness. Just rest. Again, I MUST stay within my calorie ranges that day. Ideally I will want to aim for the low end of my ranges, but I will accept anything in my range.

I know it sounds a little confusing, but I understand it. That's what matters most. I need to clearly know what a successful day is. Now I do.

I will allow some days for illness in addition to what is listed above. I will do my best to have a 1,000 calorie deficit every day. If I'm too sick, I will listen to my body and accept it. I will do my best to make that my one day a week that I need to take off from fitness. If all of this fails, I will allow 3 days in the 12 weeks for illness. Any more and I will re-start my challenge again.

I just got my Visi 5 Day Trial pack today. It's a regiment with 5 days of supplements. I will also be starting it tomorrow, and tracking daily for those 5 days.

By the way, if you are interested in the Visi program, message me. I have signed up as a distributor. I LOVE what the supplements have done for me so far, and I can't wait to see how effective these new ones will be also.

I think I blew it

I think I blew my streak yesterday. I'm seriously considering re-starting it. I'm not giving up. I just think I should re-start back at day 1.

I am sick with a cold. I don't know whether that is just an excuse though. Top that off with eating over my calories...

I made a commitment to 12 weeks of trying every day.

I understand that illness can and sometimes should prevent exercise. My body needs time to heal.

But I'm looking back. In my first week I needed two days off from fitness, due to injury. That was legitimate, and I ate within my calorie ranges. In fact, I still had calorie deficits each day.

In my second week, I'm already up to two days off of fitness. There was a third day, but I walked enough to get my fitness in

I guess this dilemma is my fault. I never did clearly define what a successful day is.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Today is DAY 15

It didn't go so well today. I was so tired. All I did was sleep all morning. I got out of bed and fell asleep on the couch.

This cold is still kicking my butt pretty hard. I'm actually in pain from it again today.

It's completely kicked my appetite out too, but that's a bad thing. I didn't get hungry until I was on my way home from work today. No planning ahead, no salads ready to eat. I ended up eating the leftover potato/mushroom/onions from last night while the home made pizza's were cooking.

Needless to say, I went over my calories for the day.

So not only am I not getting fitness in today, I ate too many calories. I would have counted it as another sick day, but I'm starting to wonder. Wonder if I'm not doing "just enough" to feel like I'm doing it. According to the scale, that's what is happening.

I don't like that. Not at all.

First thing, I'm not going to let the entire day pass by before I get to my daily blog anymore. NO WAY. I'm also done doing "just enough". I need to push myself harder. Both with fitness and nutrition. I need to plan ahead for nutrition - make salads, keep fruit on hand, etc.

I really need to get myself back on track. Tomorrow morning. I'm so tired tonight.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Today is DAY 14

Today is DAY 14. 2 weeks done. I've been struggling with muscle pain and illness, but I haven't given up.

Today I am congested on my left side. It's no surprise. But I'm still not giving up.

I don't know how well it'll go, but I'm going to get dressed and go for a run this morning. I just rounded up my pills for this morning - Visi and cold fx. I also have an asian pear. I have NO appetite, but I'm going to break the fasting of last night with something healthy. Before I get too hungry to eat right.

I got on the scale this morning. It's down to 232. I know. That's not much. When I started this challenge, I was at 234.8. Being down to 232 can be seen as a little disappointing, but I see it as progress. Especially since I've been sick and injured in these two weeks also. It shows me I'm making progress, and should not quit.

I am not giving up. As lousy as I'm feeling today, I'm going to finish this asian pear, get dressed, and go for a run. I'm going to do my best to finish my run strong today. Last week I promised myself to do EVERYTHING I can to get through week3 of my running training. It's only for 30minutes. Push myself to my limits for 30 minutes. I can do this. Then I'll be able to spend the rest of my day basking in my success.

I will not let this cold keep me down. I will fight back.

Today is my day to be strong.

Today I'm going to push as far as I can. I hope to be back here soon telling you I had a successful training run today.

I'm back. I did my best to complete the full training run. I had to take a couple of extra breaks. Considering how sick I've been, I did better than I thought I would. My average HR was at 148. So I did push myself.

Time to get ready for work and enjoy the endorphins.