Well, I'm finally at a point where I know I can do this. I will not consciously choose to eat something that is not allowed on this cleansing diet.
It's so exciting finally reaching this point. Where I completely believe I can do this.
I don't know if it was a nightmare last night, or just a strange dream that continued through the night. I don't remember anything about it, except that it was familiar - and the same thing I was thinking/felt the last time I woke up in the night.
Now my confusion is about what will happen if I find I can't eat as much foods as I used to enjoy. I went through such rough withdrawals, I don't ever want to have to do that again. Besides, food should not do that to a body. Just because it's acceptable in todays society doesn't mean it's right. It's also acceptable to be obese.
So I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I know if I start again, I'll fall right back into the trap. I know the best answer is to never start again. But then what? Stick to this diet permanently?
What foods do I still miss?
cottage cheese with fruit
milk - I am adjusting to soy milks.
ice cream - I have tasty, healthy substitutes, but it is so much more work and so expensive
these things below are things I am missing, but I KNOW I shouldn't eat them again.
coffee with cream and sugar
With the things on the bottom of the list, I believe I might be able to completely cut them out of my diet. But what about when I finally do decide to just have one...
The items on the top half of the list are generally healthy foods. With these ones, I'm more worried about it leading me to fall back into old habits again.
How do I balance re-introducing these foods, while not falling back into old habits again? I hate to admit it, but even on this restrictive diet, I struggle to get in enough freggies every day. I need a plan to keep myself from falling into old habits again.
All of this worrying is pointless right now though. There is no re-introducing without first testing my reactions to the foods. I am not interested in testing the foods on the bottom of the list. Not after the withdrawals I have gone though. I have perfectly good sugar substitutes, including fruit sugars, etc. Coffee? I can have such an incredible variety of herbal teas. Why do I need coffee anymore? And generally any sausages/pepperoni/etc are so not good for you anyway. If I really find I am missing them, I guess I can learn to make my own.
From what I understand, butter is a healthy fat. I will still do my best to substitute it with other things - coconut butters, avocado, nut butters in cookies/muffins/etc. It will give me some variety as well this way. I have been learning to love the taste of some foods without butter - like steamed asparagus. I just hope I don't fall back into the trap of swamping things like this in butter again.
Beef? Well, there is some controversy there. But from what I understand, having beef 1-2x/week is okay. So I will need to work on keeping it limited as to how often I have it. I think I can do that. Especially now that I have been discovering bison, and other wild game.
But beef is just so much easier. It's right there at the grocery store.
Dairy? There is a lot of controversy there too, especially around casein. I have substituted milk and ice creams. But what about butter? Cottage cheeses? Yogurts? Cheese? These are ones I think I'll have to do some research before I decide how much I'm going to have in my diet from now on.