Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Today's Kick in the Butt

I've kind of fallen off track. The weekend traveling was hard on me, but very worth it.

There were issues with hubby, but that's for another blog.

Friday was a write off - Travel to work 1 hour. Work 10 hours. Travel to Calgary 8 hours.
Saturday I just did all sorts of running around. Picking up things I needed. Getting together with people I missed. Dance lessons
Sunday was a travel day

Monday back to work, but I didn't feel good.
Tuesday, I just couldn't make myself do it.

Enough of that. I NEED to get back onto the horse.

I put this picture together last week. It's my desktop background. These pics have struck a chord with me. Each and every one of them. Either the image or the message.

I got on the scale today. I finally saw a loss. I was busting my butt for 2 weeks before this weekend, but not really seeing results. Today I finally saw some.

But I'm going to see gains on the scale, and all my hard work is going to go to waste if I don't get back to it. RIGHT NOW!!!!

Is it worth it? Is it worth giving up this self indulgent wallowing, and getting moving?


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Anger is rearing it's ugly little head again

I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. 

There are a lot of little reasons why.

Sometimes on a workout day I just can't seem to settle down to sleep.  I'm not sure why.  It's not like I left my workout too late.  Or maybe it is.  But I can't do it any earlier.  Not with the shifts I have at work. 

Maybe that's a big part of it.  I just don't know how to unwind in such little time after work and before bed, while fitting in some fitness. 

Another thing today, I lost my temper.  It was a silly little thing that caused it.  I know it's mainly due to being under so much stress.  The exercising.  The long hours at work.  It's all adding stress in my life.  I'm trying to cope, but obviously I'm not doing very well right now.

This whole gym thing is an additional HUGE stress.  Having to deal with the place being so packed.  The stress of feeling so out of place.  All of it.  It hasn't become part of my routine yet.  I don't look forward to it yet.

I know anger is my defense mechanism.  I know why it kicks in. 

So why do I feel the need to protect myself right now?  I guess that's the big question.

Anyhow, I'm starting to feel tired.  I've got to be up in about 7 hours, so I'd better get off to bed.  I'll definitely have to follow up on this blog tomorrow.
Well, I did it.  I finally got to the gym. 

Actually, I went on Monday right after work. 

What I did I wasn't really going to call a workout, but based on how I'm feeling today, it definitely was.  My core/abs are a little sore.  So are my legs. 

I didn't overdo anything.  It was more to get moving again.  I mainly used my body weight as resistance.  Ok.  I get it.  Yes, I've got plenty of body weight. 

Anyhow, the point is, I can feel it.  I'm not in overwhelming pain and that's a good thing.  But the fact I can feel that I did workout is good.  It means I didn't completely waste my time there the other day.

I'm looking forward to actually making progress at the gym.  Starting to actually use weights.  Seeing just how strong my body can get.  Being able to get through an entire set of pushups, or ab work.  Heck, even two sets. 

In the meantime, I know I'm on the right path.  I can feel it. 

Now to just overcome the frustration.  I am frustrated at how crowded the gym was.  I couldn't even get near one of the machines I needed to use.  I am not interested in going to the gym to have to sit there twice as long as I need to just to wait for a turn on a machine.  That's not me.  I want to get in, get to work, and get out. 

I may have to re-think the time I go.  I'm just worried.  If I leave it until the last thing of the day, I won't be able to sleep.  I also will be more likely to just skip it. 

I hate these issues.  I am hoping the gym is just crazy due to it being January.  I'm going to do my best to stick it out for a while.  See if I can't find a way to turn my thoughts towards something more positive.  Find a way to tolerate the situation better. 

If not, then it might be time to think of other alternatives.  I just have no idea what they might be.  Working out right before bed is not a good one.  And there really are no other gyms in town - this small town life SUCKS. 

I think my best bet is to try to turn my thoughts.  Find ways to tolerate the issue for now. 

Time for me to find a way, not an excuse. 

January 21 BodyMedia

 Not too bad.  I went to the gym and did my strength training on this day.  It didn't really elevate my HR for a long time, so it isn't really showing on this.  But I know it's a building block to raise my basal metabolic rate.  I will get stronger.  And I will burn more calories just existing.  So it's all good.