I made excellent choices with my nutrition. I need to still enter in my supper, but it was grilled fish, and some rice and vegetables. I avoided the bag of potato chips. Completely avoided the chips. I'm so proud of myself.
I didn't get out and run today. I tried. In fact, I'm sitting here in my running gear. Have been all day. I let my room mate take the wind out of my sails. Yes, I said it right. I LET HIM DO THIS TO ME. Now I'm so upset that I couldn't get out of the house.
That's not 100 % true mind you. A friend came by today. He was on his way out to get cigarrettes. I mentioned I should get to the grocery store to get some snacks to avoid the chips. He came and picked me up. We had a nice visit. Even went for coffee on the way back.
It was great. I even had fun. Cheered up. Smiled. Even laughed.
But I'm still sitting here not getting out and running. My heart is broken. I let my room mate hurt me that badly. I have no desire to do for me. It sucks, but it is.
And I know in my head it's my choice. I'M MAKING THE DECISION TO LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME. I'M MAKING THE DECISION TO NOT GO RUNNING.
I AM CHOOSING TO NOT WORK OUT.
So why can't I change it?
Hmm. Let's see. Debilitating depression? Ring a bell for anyone? Yes. I've suffered for years. And this whole issue with Colin has me on the brink of falling back in. I hate to admit it, but I'm not strong enough to constantly fight it off. I need to give in once in a while. But I know I will find the strength again soon. I believe I will find a way to fight back. Even if it doesn't happen until tomorrow. At least I believe I will find the strength to fight back. I just can't do it right now...
So although it may seem like a half a$$ed day to most, I know I'm doing the best I can for today. So I guess it's not such a half a$$ed day after all.