Sunday, May 22, 2011

Being sick, and overall frustrations...

The cold I had - yes I said had - is still giving me grief.  The cough has moved deep into my lungs.  And they are starting to rattle when I cough.  I know from experience, this is not good.  It's been years since this has happened.  I used to get bronchitis every time I got a cold.  I am really hoping that isn't happening again.

Not really sure what to do about this. 

Anyhow, despite this, I'm not feeling sick anymore. But I'm sure it contributed to Fridays horrible try at a run.  Oh.  I didn't post that.  I was in Regina for the day, and decided to go running.  Ran the first 20min through Wascana Park.  It was the hardest run I've ever done.  It felt like I was running a cement block on my chest.  When I finally left the park, I was able to breath better.  But it had taken too much out of me.  After almost 40minutes, I called it quits.  I just couldn't keep going. 

Anyhow, I guess it was allergies/hayfever again.  That sucks, since I haven't had trouble with that in a few years now. 

Now on to my frustration.  Today is day 51 of what started out to be a 100 day challenge.  Became a 200 day challenge when I won the draw to run the marathon in October.  I started this whole process because I couldn't fit into my jeans anymore.  When I started, the scale said 230lbs.  Here I am, 51 days later, and this morning the scale is saying 225.  Okay.  I get fluctuations.  It was reading just over 221 a few days ago.  But even so.  51 days and only 9lbs lost?  I am beyond frustrated right now. 

Obviously something is not going right.  My room mate here eats out almost all the time.  I have to admit, I've picked up that habit.  Maybe I need to cut out eating out until I get these numbers back under control.  It's just hard.  I need to believe I'm worth it. 

I also haven't been doing my small stone of the week tracking.  Mostly because I could meet all goals, except for the 2lbs a week weight loss.  I was getting so frustrated, I stopped doing them.  It felt like I was setting myself up for failure.  I guess I kind of was.

Maybe I should start them again.  Start week 1 with just seeing what I can loose.  Then shooting for that same number the next week.  Slowly increasing it. 

But in my head, I know it's nto the weight loss.  It's how I eat, where I eat, what I eat, and my workouts that will lead to changes on the scale.  My exercising has been going not too bad.  I mean, I ran 6miles in 1:10 without stopping just a couple weeks ago.  Not something I could have done in January.  And my best training runs have had me going about 7 miles. 

I also want to start to do some core work.  My abs need some definition. 

The more I think about it, the more I think I need to set up small weekly goals all over again.  Fight for what I want.  Baby steps in the right directions will get me there. 

Surprising how blogging and complaining about what's wrong, can help me find a way to fix it. 

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