June 13 BodyMedia

I know.  My calories consumed were way too low.  I'm struggling with this one, and I'm not giving up.  I need to eat more if I'm going to be able to keep running, and I know it. 

Other than that, I almost met my calories burned.  Fell short by only 9.  I did try to go running.  My physical activity 31min is moderate (goal met), and 7min is is vigorous (half way to goal).

For those who are wondering, or just plain thinking it, no I'm not anorexic.  No, I'm not trying to starve myself.  I did eat 4 times yesterday.  Salads with roasted chicken breast don't have much calories, especially when you don't add any dressings or cheese.  The quinoa I have for breakfast every morning is quite satisfying, and low in calories.  Lean grilled salmon and asparagus don't have a lot of calories either. 

Day 8

The anxiety is starting to subside.  Keep in mind, I made it to day 9, stumbled, then started over.  So with that one evening exception, I have actually been sugar free for 17 days. 

I don't know how much my one night off set me back, but I do know this.  I was sick.  Diarrhea for almost 2 days, and then pain on days 3 and 4.  So it's guaranteed it set me back quite a bit, even with regard to my sugar intake.

My emotional roller coaster is starting to slow down too.  That is a great help. Unfortunately, the emotions are ending in a down cycle.  A very down cycle.  I can see I'm fighting depression head on again.

I think I'm still a restless sleeper, but I am not waking up remembering horrid night mares anymore.

Physically, I am actually starting to feel better.   My digestive system is seems to be doing it's job, and doing it well.

I haven't been on the scale yet today.  Yesterday, I was still at 231.1.  I had a huge calorie deficit yesterday, mainly due to the fact I'm still not eating much.  Yesterday was dangerously low.  Under 700 calories.  I ate 4x yesterday too.  I'm feeling okay.  So I'm just going to have to trust my body, and keep trying to kick start an appetite.  It's cold and overcast.  I'll have to try and see if I can get out and run today.

So overall it's going well.

June 12 BodyMedia

Not a bad day yesterday.  I broke through the 1000 calories consumed, which is very good.  Especially since I went running yesterday.  Of the physical activity, over 30min was at a higher intensity level. 

I am still sleeping not too bad, considering the nightmares. 

Plan for today? 
Run again.
Eat - more salad/veggies today.  I kinda skimped on them yesterday.
Drink Water.  I was close to 12 glasses yesterday.  Gotta keep it up there.

I haven't hit my steps very often.  Maybe I should strive for that today.  Instead of running out half way then back, maybe run out 3/4 or all the way, and have a little father to walk back?  I'm just not sure I'm up for that yet.  I'm not going to worry about it too much today.  I'll consider this tomorrow.

Day 7

The nightmares are still there, but not as bad as yesterday. 

I still have the sugar anxiety, etc in the late afternoon and into the early evening.  This morning I've got so much else on my mind that I need to start dealing with too.  I guess that's a good sign.  Things are not staying buried, I am starting to become conscious of them.  It's a good thing I guess.  It wouldn't be happening if it wasn't time. 

So basically, I'm a bit of an emotional mess.  I still have the anxiety in the afternoons/evenings.  I'm still not eating anywhere near my 1500 calories/day - closer to 800-1000. 

But I have started running again yesterday.  It hasn't curbed the anxiety, but it has helped me cope with it a little better. 

C25K Week1 Day1

Yep. I got out there and did it. Despite everything, I'm getting back on track.

Run 1min, walk 2min, repeat 10x.
3.15miles.
45min - no, it wasn't fast. But I completed every run.

It was tough for the last 3, but I did it. Now to make sure I get in some food and some protein asap. Especially since my calorie intake has been below 1000/day for almost 2 weeks now consistently.

That's one thing that worries me. I need to really watch. But I'm hoping this will help kick start an appetite. I just have to make sure I have the right foods on hand to be able to eat when I finally want to.

It's beautiful out today. Nice and sunny. Warm. Enough of a breeze to keep you a little cool. Ahhh

Day 6

If you've read my last blog on sugar withdrawal, you might not be surprised by what I say next.

I've had the most vivid, horrible nightmares last night.  So bad that I'm up and out of bed well before 5am, and not willing to go back.  I'm almost 40, and nightmares still affect me this badly.

So I got up and did some online research this morning.  If you don't think sugar withdrawal is real, you should read the last blog post.  For most people, it isn't an issue.  It's possible to cut out table sugar and not go through withdrawal.  There is so much sugar in processed foods it's crazy.

But I've cut out all of that, and it's hitting me hard.  Harder than I ever imagined.

I did learn that I can expect this to continue for up to 3 more weeks.  woo hoo.  Lucky me.  (yes, that's sarcasm)

So this morning, I'm just sitting here with my feet up, blogging to get this out of my mind.  The plan is to just take it easy, then tackle today when I can shake this horrible feeling.

I'm sure there'll be an update to this blog later today.

**********UPDATE****************
it's 4:45pm, and the sugar issues are starting to get to me again.  I was napping, and suddenly I'm awake.  Restless.  Anxious.  Jittery.  Angry.

I went to get some french vanilla soy cream to make another batch of ice cream today.  I can't find any in town.  Instead of just accepting it'll be replenished soon, I'm downright mad.  Mad that this hickville has run out of something as simple as that.  Again.  And how long will it be before it is replenished?  NO IDEA.  I've seen things go for weeks without being replenished.

It's all part of the "I think I'm loosing my mind" that seems to be going along with the sugar withdrawal.  I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Who am I kidding.  I know I can keep this up.  I just need to cope with these episodes as they come up.  They seem to come up every afternoon/early evening.  Hmmm.  Something to think about.

I went for a run today.  I was hoping it would be enough to help with this anxiety I end up with.  Doesn't look like it.  Oh well.  I'll definitely keep running though.  It helps me cope with this anxiety, even if it doesn't lessen it at all.

Sugar withdrawal information

Some claim sugar is a drug, and functions much like many other drugs. Consuming sugar gives one temporary “highs” of energy and mood elevation. However, such highs may decrease with greater consumption of sugar. People who suddenly attempt sugar withdrawal are likely to have a few weeks of poor energy, cravings for sugar loaded foods, nightmares, and depression. Some also have flu-like symptoms when undergoing sugar withdrawal.

In the psychological sense, sugar withdrawal can be a very real and painful process, replete with cravings, anxiety or depression, and a general sense of loss when the addictive substance is not used. This suggests we take sugar withdrawal as seriously as addictions to other substances like alcohol or drugs. In many senses, what seems innocuous is actually a leading cause of many health conditions like early onset diabetes, obesity, and a variety of diseases of the organs.

Most people find that physical cravings for sugar will end within three to four weeks after complete sugar withdrawal. Emotional symptoms may linger beyond this point. This is especially the case when the initial cause for dependence remains unaddressed.


Nice. Well, I guess I finally got my answer to how long this will go on. And yes, I'm having horrible vivid nightmares now too. Wow. I had no idea sugar withdrawal was so severe. It's looking like I've got about 3 more weeks of this if I don't break down and give in. Grrrrr.

I am sure I'm going through sugar withdrawal. I don't eat packaged/prepared foods anymore. No wheat. No alcohols. It's been a full cut out of sugar. If there is sugar on the label, I don't eat it. Wow.

I just might spend much more time avoiding sugar when this is all said and done.