Sunday, January 6, 2013

Re-evaluationg my mountain for 2013

I'm still struggling to find a balance.  Things in life are changing again too.  I'm moving to a new office with work on Monday.  It's the same job, but a new location, and new hours.  Instead of 8 hours/day, it's necessary to work up to 10 hours/day at this new location.  I am okay with overtime.  The pay is already arranged to be siphoned off into savings.  I'm excited for that.

Now I need to find a way to get my fitness and weight loss goals into all of this. 

It just seems that I can't make any progress what-so-ever in that area.  I know how to do this, but...

I know.  We've all heard the story before.  Other people saying it.  We've even heard ourselves saying it. 

All I know is I'm not happy right now.  I need to change that. 

I'm starting at a new location.  That will take care of the stress that I was under at the old office.  It was a small town.  Typical, if you don't participate in the gossip and spend your time cutting down everyone around you, ....

Add to that, the time I needed off for family funerals - yes there were 3 deaths in the family from late September to Christmas.  It really sucked.  And the time I needed off for my mothers health issues.  Then I actually missed about 4 days of work spread throughout that time because of illness myself.  I spent most of December in the office quite sick, but didn't want to stay home the entire time. 

So it just all got out of control. 

This move to another office will be good.  It's much smaller, and I know the other girl I'll be working with.  She's great.  Also not as afraid of her computer and electronic office solutions as they were at the last place. 

I've gained weight, and can't seem to get it off.  That's the main reason for this blog.  To track my progress and keep myself on the right track to loose weight.

I miss dancing.  More and more each day.  I have a plan in place to fix this issue.  I'm so excited, but my Hubby doesn't seem to share the same excitement.  I get that, but I wish he wouldn't start to sabotage my efforts.

I have no money.  Nothing.  So I'm setting up retirement savings.  I seem to be on a good track for that too.  I have a separate blog that is helping me track that progress, and journey.

Depression is starting to take over my life again.  I need to fight back.  But when I'm feeling so lethargic because of lack of exercise and poor diet, it's all snowballing and I feel like I'm drowning.  I am trying to fight back though.  This blog is to help me with my weight loss/fitness issues.  I have another blog where I'm trying to find something positive every day to be grateful for.  I am hoping it will help me turn my thoughts from negative towards the positive.  Start to attract the positive into my life - kind of like The Secret.  Maybe it's time to read that one again.  And The Four Agreements. 

I guess those are my mountain I want to tackle:

- weight loss.  Get back down under 200lbs

- running.  I'd love to run a half marathon in under 2:57.  That's my personal best so far

- dancing.  I want to get back into competing.  And if Hubby's up for it, I'd love to teach him too.

- depression.  I need to get out of this negative rut I've been stuck in for so long now.

- finances.  It'll help me to see that I've got a growing nest egg to retire with, rather than the believe I'll be living in a piano box under a bridge.

- musicality.  I have ordered some Violin lesson books and the things I need to get back to learning to play my violin.  It will be hard without an instructor around here, but I'm looking forward to see what I can do on my own. 

- reconnecting with my kids.  I still feel so disconnected from them both.  It breaks my heart to not have a closer relationship with them. 

Those are all huge issues on their own.  Each a mountain in it's own right.  Some of the journeys up these mountains overlap.  Weight loss and depression are very closely tied.  Running and reconnecting with my son can be tied fairly closely - he's interested in running another half marathon with me.  Finances is not taking too much of my time right now.  I've been setting up ways to help the growth.  Now it's basically time to sit back and watch the growth happen.  And of course dancing is very closely tied to fitness, and surprisingly closely tied to depression as well.  I have a passion for dance, that makes me happy. 

Finances are being taken care of, and I'm tracking that journey in it's own blog.

This blog is going to be mainly for my weight loss/running.  Tracking my progress.  Finding out what I'm lacking so I can change it. 

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