Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Anger is rearing it's ugly little head again

I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. 

There are a lot of little reasons why.

Sometimes on a workout day I just can't seem to settle down to sleep.  I'm not sure why.  It's not like I left my workout too late.  Or maybe it is.  But I can't do it any earlier.  Not with the shifts I have at work. 

Maybe that's a big part of it.  I just don't know how to unwind in such little time after work and before bed, while fitting in some fitness. 

Another thing today, I lost my temper.  It was a silly little thing that caused it.  I know it's mainly due to being under so much stress.  The exercising.  The long hours at work.  It's all adding stress in my life.  I'm trying to cope, but obviously I'm not doing very well right now.

This whole gym thing is an additional HUGE stress.  Having to deal with the place being so packed.  The stress of feeling so out of place.  All of it.  It hasn't become part of my routine yet.  I don't look forward to it yet.

I know anger is my defense mechanism.  I know why it kicks in. 

So why do I feel the need to protect myself right now?  I guess that's the big question.

Anyhow, I'm starting to feel tired.  I've got to be up in about 7 hours, so I'd better get off to bed.  I'll definitely have to follow up on this blog tomorrow.

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