Today's Kick in the Butt!

Not chasing a size 2. Just chasing a body that can rock this bikini.

Yesterday was a success. I didn't knock it out of the park yet, but it was a success.

I drank over 8 glasses of water
I ran for 20min
I cleaned the kitchen
I rode my pedal bike for 30min - left my van at home.







Today is my day. I will make today Day2 of Successful Days In A Row!

Today I will:
Drink at least 8 glasses of water
Run W1D2M - 30min tempo run
Eat Clean today - Fuel not Padding
Put away laundry

To knock it out of the park:
Burn 500 calories today
Clean out the fridge

Todays Kick in the Butt ... Could use some help with this one.

I am sitting here. Tired. Lethargic. Still not feeling well.

I'm fed up. I've given it a week. I moved out on my room mate a week ago now. Today it's been a week since he found out. He's already been nice and tried to get me back. He's been nasty to me again - actually had me crying again for a while this weekend. Then back to nice.

But I haven't been able to finish what I need to do for me.

And what do I need to do for me?
Finish cleaning the trailer. Not necessarily all of it. But at least the living areas I'll be using. It'll be nice to have a clean, organized living space again.
Running. Get back on track with my marathon training program. I am so far behind right now it's not even funny.
Regain my own sanity
Learn to love time on my own.
Eat for fuel, not for padding

I know. I can't do it all overnight.
I have been cleaning. My bedroom is 80% set up. The kitchen is about 90% done. I still need to touch up some walls, vaccuum, sweep, clean the other bathroom. Not a lot. I have taken a few days off for me, and I don't feel too bad about that. I need some me time too with all these changes. But now it's time to just get 'er done already.

I am slowly learning how to do this for me. It's taking time. It will take more time. I'm okay with that .

As for the fitness/nutrition... Well....

Okay. I have stocked my fridge with good foods. I need more freggies, but I'm getting there. I have to put together a few salads tonight - fruit salads, salads for lunches, etc. Basically prep work. Then stuff is easy peasy to put together.

Running. Well, I actually miss it. Besides, I'll feel better. I actually might sleep again.

I'm just so overwhelmed. According to my schedule, my runs this week are:
1. jog6min, run faster 3min, repeat x7
2. 60min tempo run
3. easy 120min run

It is TERRIFYING me. I don't really know why. I can do the longer runs. I have. Just last month. But it's been so long...

Okay. Time to stop looking at the whole thing. Just focus on today.

What can I do today to wake up feeling like a success tomorrow?
Eat well, and track everything eaten
Run. I don't care if it's only 10minutes, or a full hour. Just run today
Clean up that kitchen. Just finish it already. If you're out of energy, just move the suitcases into the bedroom and leave them for today. But GET THEM OUT OF THE KITCHEN ALREADY.

To knock it out of the park today
do the prep work on at least 2 salads
wash out the fridge, so it doesn't keep weighing on your mind.
burn over 500 calories today


Remember these little guys? How good you felt when they were around?

YOU HAVE IT IN YOU TO GET THERE AGAIN.







THE POWER TO GET THERE IS IN ME. NO WHERE ELSE.

I can do this. Focus.

Today I will:
Track all my food
Drink at least 8 glasses of water
Run for at least 10min. Burn 500 calories - BONUS!!!!!!!!!!!
Clean out the kitchen

That's it. Not much. I'm not asking my body to run a marathon today. I'm not asking it to eat 100% for fuel and no treats at all. I'm asking for a baby step in the right direction.

I CAN DO THIS

A bit of Motivation...

Enough Said?

My 200 Day Journey - Day 111

I did get out and run yesterday. It didn't go well. I got very very dizzy just before I hit the 1mile mark. I backed off. Walked it off. Then tried to run again. Nope. Things started going black again. So I walked home.

On the way, I stopped at Co-op and got a salad.

I figure my nutrition was way WAY down during the weekend - I barely ate at all, and in this heat, not enough food and water

Anyhow, I did burn almost 200 caloires. Covered 1.5miles. Ate a great salad.

It's a start. I put me first. Didn't let the room mate keep me from going. Didn't talk myself out of it.

Today I have my gear with me. The plan is to run at lunch again. I can do this. I am looking forward to it.

But while I'm thinking of it, I'd better get in my electrolytes and some extra water in the next hour...

I kind of have a date tonight. Someone I met a while ago. We went for drinks once. Didn't really hit it off then, but kept in touch. Well, lately we've been talking more. He asked if I was interested in getting together again. Our chats have been very interesting. Nothing over the top. Just getting to know you, what are you looking for, etc. Turns out we are both kind of on the same page. So I figure why not. Spend some time together. If nothing else, I'll have made a great new friend.

I'm really looking forward to this for other reasons too. I need to break away from the room mate more. I need to find my own way. If he doesn't like it, it will just push me to move out sooner. That may not be such a bad thing anymore. I do have a third friend Kent who has a spare room in his place. If I'm seeing someone else, it will be easier for him to understand it's just as friends.

Yesterday I realized just how much I am self sabotaging. I am really embarrassed by it. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten.

And yes, I do have to admit this drama around the room mate is just another excuse. Might be partially why I've been so hesitant to leave. It removed another good excuse for me to not meet my goals.

But I have finally decided enough. I deserve a fair chance to reach my goals.

I have changed my training schedule. It is scaled way back. But I'm looking at it this way now. If I can run the solid 3.5hours (my longest training run), then there's no reason I can't do a run/walk marathon in under 6.5hours.

I am struggling to accept this as a reality, but I'm trying. I also need to accept that even if I don't finish in time, I can still finish. It is in me. I am capable.

So don't wish me luck. Luck won't have anything to do with it yet. Right now, I need strength to push through. Persistence. Determination to train train train.

Thanks so much to all my spark friends who have stuck by me through all this crap. I'm so sorry it got so deep. I am just hoping I am on my way out of it now.