Today's Kick in the Butt

I just can't seem to get up off this couch today. I am breathing a little better. I planned on going running anyway to help with the breathing.

I had some organic cereal for breakfast. I'm starting to suspect there is sugar in it. I had one serving for breakfast, and have been craving it ever since. I just had a second one for my morning snack.

I need to fight off this craving. And I also need to ...

Hmm. I lost that train of thought.

Anyhow, I need to fight these cravings. I also need to fight to get my fitness in today.

It's hot outside. It's already 27C (81F) with a humidex up to 31C (88F). It's supposed to climb to 39C - about 102F. It's going to be too hot to run, if it isn't already too hot.

I am feeling so lethargic. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep.

I need to fight this off.

Am I sick? Kind of, but that shouldn't keep me from running. Running will help this one clear up. My breathing is better. It will get even better if I go running.

Am I sore? Not really. Just weak. Running will fix that.

So what's my problem? Just lazy I guess.



What is wrong with you? Do you think you'll ever get anywhere near here just sitting on your butt??? REALITY TIME. NO WAY!



There is no such thing as having no time. It's that it's not a priority.

So why is this not a priority for me today?

Because I'm feeling very down. I'm upset. It's looking like I lost my job, through no fault of my own. I've got some allergies. I can't work there. I made the choice. My health is worth more than any job. I know this. So why am I so upset?

It's just another loss. I don't know how to cope with these very well.

I have the olympic womens gymnastics on tv right now. Canada is on the uneven bars. Doing great so far.

I just don't get it.

I was frustrated when I tracked the food I ate yesterday. It was higher in calories than I thought. No surprise really I guess. It just adds up so fast.

When I got on the scale, I was honestly expecting a bigger number than I saw. Then I realized I guess I have lost some weight. I've dropped from the 227-230 down to the 224-226.

Oh yeah. I was fighting to get closer to 220 by the 25th. That day's come and gone. My lowest weigh in this week was 223.6. I really need to get the scale back down to that asap.

I just can't seem to break this funk.

I put together my calendar for August yesterday. It's all ready for filling up with my weekly goals, and checking them off as I go day by day.

So am I going to just sit here and let today pass me by? Or am I going to make the most of my day. It's a gift. I'm not at work. It gives me the perfect opportunity to make me a priority today.

I guess it's time to prove what my priorities are. Am I going to make my health and fitness a priority? Or am I going to waste today?

Sunday was a long day in the car - over 6 hours of driving to Brandon and back. Monday I didn't go running. I was worried about work. I've also found once I take one day off, it snowballs into day after day after... Just look at me now.

All I need to do is get dressed and get out and move for a while today. It will re-start my momentum. I truly believe that.

I just realized, I haven't had any water this morning. Or my supplements. What is wrong with me???

Get dressed. Get out the door. Go to Sobeys, the mall, or Walmart. Walk. Take water and walk. Just get moving again.

Why is it I just feel like bursting into tears

********UPDATE**************
**

I went for a walk. I couldn't go as far as I wanted - lawn mowing by the city in progress. I decided to turn around and go home, rather than get sick by walking through and breathing that.

I got back here and uploaded my bodymedia again. Well, I think I found out why I'm like this today. I only got just over 5 hours of sleep last night. 62% sleep efficiency. Just crappy to say the least. Wow.

July 30 BodyMedia

Wow.  Look what happens when you don't track your food for the day.  I had no idea I was eating that much.  My bad.  At least there was still a deficit, but wow. 

I spent the day sick again - allergies.  I didn't run, since I couldn't breathe.  I've gotta fix that today.

July 28 BodyMedia

Not a bad day at all.  I wasn't able to finish my run, but before I got home, I decided to just keep going as far as I could run, and walk the rest of the way across town for coffee in the morning - its just over a mile each direction.  It helped me get all my fitness and steps in for the day yesterday.

Today's kick in the butt

It's surprising how different things are this morning. All week I've had to get up and get out there and run. No if's and's or but's about it. I didn't even have time to do a kick in the butt blog on my way out. Yes, I ended up taking a couple days off, and the third one, I only got a half run in.

Today though, I don't have to rush out the door. I'm finding I have settled, and need to kick my butt to get out the door.

I had my breakfast. Now just giving it a few minutes to settle.



If I want to get closer to this, I need to keep re-working my program. I am loosing at a rate of 1.17lbs/week (info from my bodyMedia). I am going to keep working to upping that to 2lbs/week again. I am still focusing on eating 6x/day to help it along. And I also have to keep up my running/cardio.

I know. I'm neglecting Strength training again. I could go on and say there is no time. I'm focusing on a new job, and keeping my cardio up so I keep loosing weight. blah blah blah. Reality is that there is no such thing as "I don't have the time...". The truth is "It's not a priority for me" (Thanks Yoovie). I'm not making that my priority right now. I know I will have to change that, but it's not a priority for me to change it today.

There. It's out there. I'm being 100% honest with myself.

So am I going to do the same with my cardio today? Just decide it's not a priority for me? That I really don't want to get closer to this goal?



I don't think so.



Somewhere in here, I've decided this is what I want. I'm still striving for it, even though I know how hard it is. No matter how down I get on myself for where I am at that point. This is still a goal. If it weren't I wouldn't get down on myself about where I am.

So if it's something I keep coming back to, I need to realize where I am now, I will only stay stuck. Not going running will only lead me farther away from this goal. I say farther away, because the time will have passed. I can't get it back. I may even gain more weight to loose in order to get to this goal weight. If I'm not taking steps forward, I'm risking taking them backwards. That's just how it is.

I KNOW I'll still be here a year from now if I don't do something to change this. Heck. look at the last year. I wish I were there then. I didn't do what I needed to do. Here I sit a year later still wishing I'd found a way to make this all work a year ago.

*************UPDATE*************
Back from todays run.  Didn't finish Week5Day2.  I'll try again tomorrow.  In the meantime, I did get in 1.6miles in 20minutes.  In total, I walked and ran almost 4 miles.  Not bad, considering the heat and the trouble breathing.

July 27 BodyMedia

Not bad for yesterday.  I got in half of my run.  I didn't quite meet meet all my goals for today, but I did meet some.  Calorie burn, calories consumed, deficit, vigorous physical activity all met.  I didn't get enough moderate activity, or steps.  Sleep the night before was a little low too.

July 26 BodyMedia

Overall not one of my better days.  Didn't get my fitness in.  Ate over my calories.  Didn't get my steps or activity in.  Oh well.  We all have days like that.  Time to step it up.

July 25 BodyMedia

Not bad for a day off of fitness.  Still had a good calorie deficit.